Why I Chopped Off All My Hair…Twice

FOUR YEARS AGO, I HAD AN EPIPHANY.
I started applying relaxers when I was six years old and since then, my hair never grew past a certain length. It wasn’t just the relaxers; it was also the really tight braids, the hair glue, never trimming split ends, the constant straightening with heat, and the use of synthetic, unnatural hair products. Remember when going natural trended?
That was when I had the epiphany; four years ago.

Two roommates of mine back then had already done the big chop and gone natural. It made me more anxious to hop on the trend. So one day, I looked in the mirror and convinced myself that my hair was damaged beyond control. I was ready for the big chop too, I thought. I couldn’t wait to join the coconut oil and shea butter madness. As I was still standing in front of the mirror, I was telling my roommate, “I want to cut it off; the hair is so flimsy, look at how thin the ends are…” She was obviously tired of my nagging because before I could complete my statement, she had walked over to me with a pair of scissors and *CHOP!* a big chunk of hair fell past my face.  I wasn’t even sure how to feel, I wanted to act like I was angry but I wasn’t. I was excited. She sat me down and helped me chop off the rest. When she was done, I looked at the mirror and saw my little Afro of four months that had been growing under the relaxed hair.


After the big chop, it didn't take me long to realize I was in love with the idea of going natural; I wasn’t yet in love with my hair. As weeks passed and turned into months, I was tired of doing braids. I wanted to fix weaves but I hated weave closures because they looked so obviously unnatural. One of the perks of having relaxed hair is that you can blend your hair with the weave to make it look like it’s all your hair. I missed that. I wanted to be able to blend my hair with the weave and my Afro wasn’t doing that even when I straightened it. So guess what I did? I bought a texturizer. A texturizer is supposed to loosen your curls and make them more “manageable”. Bullshit. An utter load of crap. A texturizer is about the same thing as a relaxer and does the same exact damages to your hair so please don’t let anyone give you that same load of shit. It wasn’t even up to two months of using a texturizer that I saw the split ends coming fast.

I kept using the texturizer for about a year and a half and kept on trimming the split ends as they came. My hair never grew past my shoulders. No amount of coconut oil could even save me. The split ends were out of control and were so bad that they had split almost halfway their actual length. I packed my hair in a high bun most of the time because I couldn’t style it as I was too scared to put more heat on it.

The real epiphany happened in August 2016. I gave my sister a pair of scissors, sat down and asked her to chop off any hair on my head that wasn’t remotely natural. I knew then, that I was more than ready to embrace my Afro. It’s been four going on five months since the second big chop and I am certain I’m never going back to relaxers and texturizers. I’m in love with my hair and I almost can’t wait for the growth to come.

People say black girls can’t grow their hair. Again, BULLSHIT. There are a lot of naturalistas out there with their hair on their waists. If you give your hair the chance, and stop ruining it with synthetic products, you would be stunned at the length and volume your hair can achieve.